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Sometimes I want to throw on a hairpiece and wear a leotard

Sometimes I want to throw on a hairpiece and wear a leotard

Twelfth Night

Bottoming out of boredom, I decided to list the men I’ve dated since I moved to NYC, 15 months ago today:

11

Tomorrow is Number 12 but here’s hoping Mr. 11 puts a halt to any future additions.

My statistics:

2/11 I’ve slept with multiple times.

0/11 I’ve slept with once.

2/11 Went on one date, wanted a second date but never heard from them again.

3/11 I thought were boyfriend-material

1/11 I met through friends

9/11 Were at least 3 years older than me.

8/11 Had graduate degrees

What I have learned: I like older men, I’m not a whore and I’m not that bad at first dates! Also when you put numbers on men they really become less exhausting and complicated and more Eh, whatever. I prefer the latter.

Techie
  • Me:

    It sucks you don't want anything.

  • Techie:

    Sorry about that.

  • Six minutes later

  • Techie:

    I'm flattered.

  • Me:

    I didn't give you a compliment.

  • Conversation between a waitress and her customer, or conversation of a girl confused by casual lovemaking.

"Let Them Eat Cake" YSL T-Shirt $285.00 USD

Hungover this morning, I received a surprising message from Ben*, my friend from London. He’s going to be in New York for a couple of weeks in August and would like to catch up. Everyone loves the story about how we met; we sat together on our flight there. I will keep you posted.

Hungover this morning, I received a surprising message from Ben*, my friend from London. He’s going to be in New York for a couple of weeks in August and would like to catch up. Everyone loves the story about how we met; we sat together on our flight there. I will keep you posted.

I’m completely full of shit. Want to know why? I get attracted to men whose past lovers (or those who inundate their Facebook walls) aren’t “like me”. I find something about them sub-par and it makes me fucking furious because in my mind, they were able to crack the code and be his friend, send a text, have him respond in a timely fashion,  make him light up when they see each other.

Be the girl that he doesn’t want to treat like shit, or at least not anymore, or at least not in my imaginary world where he’s only emotionally vapid to me.

If these women were pretty fucking amazing, however I’d be furious too.

I call this one lose-lose.

Movie Trailer of the Day

You find no man, at all intellectual, who is willing to leave London. No, Sir, when a man is tired of London, he is tired of life; for there is in London all that life can afford.
Samuel Johnson
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"Always the Bridesmaid …" Bullet Playsuit-Agent Provocateur $330

My “Oh No She Didn’t” Must-Try Trend for Fall: Knee-High Stockings/Stocking Knee-Highs

Its elicit sex and unwanted attention pressed into a thin fabric eggroll. Yum